HS #247 Finding the Right Spot Cynthia Tobias and Sue Acuña

HS #247 Finding the Right Spot Cynthia Tobias and Sue Acuña

Show Notes:

RESOURCES

You Can’t Make Me! (But I Can Be Persuaded)

QUOTE

“The brain can only absorb what the seat can endure.”

CONNECT WITH HOSTS:

Website

https://cynthiatobias.com/

https://www.sueacuna.com/


Facebook

https://www.facebook.com/CynthiaUlrichTobias/

https://www.facebook.com/suechanacuna/

Show Transcript:

Wendy -

Hello and welcome back to another installment of the Homeschool Solutions Show. My name is Wendy Speake and I am one of the many hosts we have here on the podcast. Each week you'll hear from one of us, inviting one of our friends to join for a conversation about this busy, blessed season as we educate our children at home.

Now the title of the show is Homeschool Solutions. While we don't have the answer to every question, we know that all the solutions to every stress and every struggle can be found in the Person and Presence of Jesus Christ and His living and active and applicable Word. We are so glad that you're here to join us for today's conversation. But before we start the show, I'm like to thank our sponsors.

Medi-Share. An affordable and Biblical healthcare alternative. Find out more at MyChristianCare.org for their ongoing support of homeschooling families just like yours.

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And now, on to today's show.




Cynthia -

Hi, this is Cynthia Tobias.

Sue -

And this is Sue Acuna.

Cynthia -

And we wanna welcome you to the very first podcast in our series called, It's Never Just Another Day. It's all about who gets to decide what's normal. Some practical tips in all kinds of ways for all kinds of learners. And before we jump into some really exciting programs, we wanna make sure that you kinda know who we are first.

My background is, I am an author and speaker for the 32 years. Prior to that, I taught public high school, English, Speech, Drama, Debate, and I was also, for about six years, a police officer. And I want you to meet Sue. Sue, give a little bit of information about yourself.

Sue -

I am a middle school teacher. Have taught grades five through eight. Love this age group. They are always challenging, but always fascinating and often entertaining. I also have a singing background. I've directed a couple of choirs. Love to travel, and one of the big highlights of life was co-authoring a book with Cynthia.

Cynthia -

Yeah. I've written 14 books and one of my favorite books was writing one with Sue. You're gonna love her. You're gonna get to know her over the course of time, here, and one of the reasons that she was my first choice for kind of a partner in this podcast is, she's got just a wealth of information, not only about middle school that she teaches but about pretty much anything you can imagine when it comes to kids. And we've worked together and traveled together and so I thought it'd be good for a little keeping each other accountable, as we do this. What do you think?

S -

Yeah. And we've spoken together and discovered that our timing is pretty good. Hey, you take it.

C -

Yeah. One of us is always the straight man. We're gonna, over the course of the next nine or ten podcasts, we're gonna talk about learning styles. But, not maybe in a way that you would necessarily expect. In other words, we're not gonna just give you a whole lot of ways that you should use learning styles to homeschool your children, or to teach your children, or to coach them. It's more like, how do you actually understand learning styles so that you can help your child, regardless of age, figure out how to kinda take responsibility for their own learning. And to figure out what they need to succeed, and to be able to prove it works. We've talked before, Sue, where we've talked about how homeschool is a very unique opportunity, and a grand way, actually, of experimenting with what works.

S -

And I have really good friends who have homeschooled their kids all the way up through high school. We've talked together, we've discussed it. And of course, my experience with students who have transitioned to classroom teaching from homeschooling has been, just, positive experience all the way around. These kids are motivated for the most part, but they have some good structure and you can tell, parents have done a lot of research. And they've done a lot of work.

But, specially as they get older, specially on those days where kids don't want to work, that's when parents are saying, help. Where do I go from here?

C -

Well, and that's the thing, you know, I've noticed, over the last ten to fifteen years especially, the landscape of homeschool parents has really changed. It used to be a whole lot of more of stay at home moms, but these days, it's a lot of professionals. It's a lot of parents who are very busy and it's just that they said, you know whatever it takes, I'm gonna just set aside what I have to do and do what I have to do. And we're looking at lots of hybrid models, partnering with Christian schools, and partnering with online things. And so, now more than ever, whether you're just beginning homeschooling, or whether you're maybe even on your last child, the last year. You could probably use some really practical tips. And the ones that we're gonna talk about are designed to be imminently practical. And really, immediately useful. We're not gonna tell you anything that's gonna weigh you down with a whole lotta extra work. In fact, it actually is probably gonna make the teaching that you do at home a whole lot easier, especially if you're teaching more than one child at a time.

Sue, how many kids do you have?

S -

I have three grown sons. One about to become a dad any day now. We're pretty excited. And, years ago I learned a lot about learning styles from you in a workshop which changed how I approached my kids at home, how I approached my kids in the classroom and has made a huge difference. I think the big question we always wanna answer is, what makes this kid tick?

C -

Right. I had twins. Twin boys. They are two minutes apart. They still look a lot like Pete and Repeat but they are totally opposite. Totally opposite in styles, opposite in approach and interests. They're 29 years old now, I can't believe it. My sister has three girls, and I cut my teeth before I ever had my boys on helping parent and spend a whole lot of time with the girls, so, it's interesting because there's not any time that you can actually look at two children in the same family and say, oh, they're just alike. Whether they're twins or not. We know that there are no two alike. And the thing that makes that especially challenging is, it's not that we want them to be alike. It's just that we want them to be a little more like us. Like we're living proof that our way works.

S -

And I think one of the big challenges for homeschooling is when you are a parent of a child who's not very much like you. And you can't understand why the response is happened that way, or why they won't do things that works for you.

C -

And sometimes the frustration of even learning more about learning styles is parents are thinking, ah, I have to go take a long class or I have to have a degree in psychology, or...but it's really not that hard is it?

S -

No, and I think you break it down really nicely, into ques that you could look for without even giving a formal kind of assessment. Just to say, oh, that's why this one talks all the time, or oh, that's why this one seems to be daydreaming.

C -

Right. In fact, we would just as soon that you not have a checklist necessarily, especially right at the beginning. And you know, there's no book, there's no test that you're gonna be able to take, or give your kids to take, that they're gonna be able to just answer the questions and you'll total it at the bottom and say, yep, that's who they are. Because they change a lot. I mean, in a way we've called this. It's never just another day, because about the time you think you've got it figured out, how to help this kid, how to motivate this child, then they totally surprise you the next day. And you say, I thought this is what you wanted.

And it really helps when we...what we're talking about today, especially. It really helps to ask more questions. And to put more responsibility on the child, as early as possible. Do you think, Sue, that you could do it as early as toddlerhood, let's say?

S -

I think so. I always enjoyed watching my kids work jigsaw puzzles. And my firstborn had to work the frame first. And then worked it carefully, section by section. My middle child was much more random. Oh, look, a bunch of yellow pieces! He would put all the yellow pieces together and just go from there.

C -

Right. Sometimes, parents think, well learning styles you can't really tell that for a long time, but I know with my boys, they were at Grandma's house for daycare. And when they were two years old we went to the Learning Store and we bought posters. And we put them down at two-year-old height. Some of them were the solar system, a community helpers, the days of the week, the calendar, the...you know, all kinds of different ones. And then we would just let the boys walk by them and point to one and say what's this, what's this, what's this? And, instead of insisting that they learn them all, we would find out which one are they really interested in. And of course, I had opposites, like you, you know. Robert wanted to talk about community helpers and a lot of forest things. And Mike wanted to know, he wanted to memorize what the presidents were and what this was in the solar system.

And sometimes it's just as easy as just paying attention. I know some of you have more than four kids. Some of you only have two. Some of you, I've run into a lot of parents lately that have maybe six or seven. However few or however many you have, you don't have to sit down with them formally and try to figure out who are you? What do you need? You simply have to, number one, be aware, and kind of pay attention by observation. And number two, ask them some questions.

S -

And be willing to let them experiment because what they think they might think would work best for them might, in the long run, turn out not to be best for them.

C -

Right. Which is kind of our topic today, because, when we talk about, what's the actual right environment for our child? Where are they gonna be at their best to learn? And this is where homeschool has a huge advantage. You and I have both taught in classrooms where we just, we've tried to make as many adjustments as we can in the classroom. But there are some kids who are never gonna be comfortable sitting in a desk. And some kids who will never be comfortable sitting in total silence. And others who, they just have so many different needs. And one of my favorite quotes, I don't know who said it, it was an educator, though, who said it, is that the brain can only absorb what the seat can endure.

So, if you're physically uncomfortable, it's very difficult to listen and learn.

S -

And, we go through that as adults. If I'm sitting at a conference, and the seat of the chair is a little too high, and my legs are uncomfortable, after maybe an hour, if it's a really good speaker, but I'm getting antsy and I need to get up and I need to move. And I'm no longer focusing on what the speaker's saying, I'm focusing on how much longer until I can get out of this seat.

C -

And you're probably, you can sit longer than I can. I could not do it for an hour. ??? Or I needed to get my feet up. It would be very different. So, let's get to parents today. Let's just kind of highlight a few areas where...how would you even go out to figure...go about figuring out where do I start to find what's the right spot to study? And, I think, part of that is, that you would just, for especially the older kids, from about third grade up, you can sit down with them and ask, what is your perfect study spot? If you had a perfect spot where you'd like to do your work, where would it be? And be prepared for the first answer to be...

S -

On my bed. Or I don't know.

C -

Or in a hot tub or...??? And if they give you something totally unreasonable, you simply go, nice try. Ha ha ha. Seriously now, if you really could design your own study space, where would you study? And, what often happens is, if a child says, I like to be in the living room and I'd like to be on top of the coffee table. And I'd like to have my, you know... and you'd say, no, no, no, no, no, that's not gonna work. You need to be over here or you need to be...here's the kitchen table. It's a perfectly good place. But what happens?

S -

They're not comfortable there. They can't focus. Nothing gets done. One way to observe where your child likes to be to concentrate is, honestly, when they're on an iPad or a handheld tech device. Where are they? Are they lying on the floor? Are they sitting up? Do they have their feet out? Are they sitting there grabbing a snack while they're playing? What's their preference? You can just casually observe. Or if you've got a reader, where do they like to read their books? Are they off on their own by themselves? Are they right in the middle of the living room? Are they outside on the swing? You can learn lots just by paying attention.

C -

One of the things I've observed over the last several years at homeschool conferences and talking to a lot of parents is there's this expectation sometimes, especially if you're a new homeschool parent. You're thinking, well I have to set up a classroom at home. And I have to make sure that we have a schedule and I have to make sure that they have a particular time and a particular way to do their work. But what we've really discovered, especially for an awful lot of the kids at least, is that you don't wanna just recreate school at home. Because for a lot of kids, school is not in any way anything that causes them to be successful. So, so instead of making school at home, make home be a place for learning. And one of the best ways to do that is to ask my favorite question. You remember my favorite question, Sue? It's a three-word question with...it's what's the point? How many times have asked that, right?

S -

Yeah. And it's...

C -

What's the point?

S -

It's a question that I think... I mean, overarching for everything. Is it worthwhile for a child to do 25 math problems when he can learn it in three? Is it important for a child to sit at a desk with bright light when they can learn better on the floor, under the tree in the shade? I don't know.

C -

And I found this when I was teaching, I would ask my students, you know, where...draw a picture of where you'd actually like to be. And more than once, I would have a parent come in and say, she says that she wants to lie on the floor with her headphones on and the tv on in the background, munching some potato chips and drinking, and there's no way that you can learn like that. And I would tell them, well, maybe not, but if the point is that the homework gets done, here's what you can do. You say, alright look, as long as it doesn't violate any household rules. You say, alright, I'll tell you what. I'll let you work like that for the next three days. And if you have the homework done, and it's done on time, and the assignment is complete and done the way it should be, I'm gonna say, whoa, I guess I work cause it would never work for me. But if the work isn't done, or if it's not done correctly, then you get to say, hmm, nice try. I know it's comfortable for you down there, but obviously, it doesn't work. Because in order for it to work, they have, we have agreed that, look, the bottom line is this. That's the point. You have to be able to prove that you can get there.

S -

And I would say, get some immediate feedback just by sauntering by and seeing what's going on. If you've got a kid on the floor with a laptop with headphones on, you would look at the screen and see, are they actually learning? Are they actually studying? Or have they been totally distracted and off doing something else? If they say they wanna work on their bed, but you walk in and they're rolling around or jumping up and down, then it's obviously not a good place for them to focus and concentrate.

C -

And I, you know, I know one of the greatest challenges, especially of homeschool parents, but anytime you're working with kids, is just motivating them to get started in the first place. I mean, motivating them to want to learn. Cause they're looking at learning like, ah, it's just so boring and I don't wanna do it, and I dread it. And this approach, when you're finding the right spot and the environment, it can really make all the difference between whether they wanna do it or not, wouldn't you think?

S -

Especially when you pay attention to it, it's a kid who likes to work in solitude. Or do you have a kid who likes to work in a group? And I had one son who always went off to his room to do his homework. But I had another one who sat at the dining room table and would say, mom, don't you have some work to do too? And I would bring my stack of papers and I would grade papers while he did math and he was so much happier. And once in a while, he'd look up and make a little comment and we'd chitchat, and then he would go back to work. But for him, learning needed to be social. Whereas for my firstborn, learning needed to be done in solitude without the distraction of people.

C -

Right. And Mike, my son, you would like, he would sit at the table and nobody around. Doesn't want anybody talking to him. Total silence. While his brother is other on top of the coffee table in front of the fireplace on his stomach waving his feet in the air busily working on his homework. And we just discovered that year, as long as it works, we're not putting anything on the coffee table. Because not only are they opposite, but he's doing something that most parents would say, how in the world can he get anything done? But he really does.

Now, besides the environment, I think it's also important to remember the time of day. Are you a morning Sue?

S -

Ha, you know I'm not a morning person. You know not to talk to me before ten o'clock.

C -

I'm a total morning person.

S -

Oh yes, you are.

C -

So, I mean, I'm sending some texts at 4:30, five o'clock. I know I have to wait till nine or ten before she answers them, but I'm doing... I'm at my most productive early, early in the morning. And you are...I can hear from you at eleven o'clock at night.

S -

Right. Not that you'll answer me at eleven o'clock. But you're right, in the morning, not only am I not able to focus, or even make a decision, but it's hard for me to even feel optimistic about things. That's when I'm most likely to just be disagreeable because it's just who I am. But around, you know, afternoons, early afternoons, I think, for most of us, work well. Late afternoon. We all want that siesta, right? But in the evening about six o'clock, I can be yawning and thinking I'm going to bed early tonight. And at eight o'clock, that second wind kicks in and I'm so productive.

C -

But what happens if you have multiple kids? What happens to you as a mom? You kinda gotta be morning, noon, and night person right?

S -

Yeah, or you just train them. You...oh, I'm so happy you wanna work in the morning, you go do that, and I'll check in with you later.

C -

Right. And as they get a little bit older, you can really, you know, a sense of humor makes so much difference, you know? There would be a time when I could say, are you sure you wanna ask me that question at nine o'clock at night? And then, Mike would go, oh, no, nevermind. Because, again, awareness is half the battle, and just the conversations you can have with your children of, well you look a little sleepy. Do you wanna work on this later. Do you wanna go out and get a quick something to drink? A little bit to eat? And come back and do this at a different time? It makes a difference and we found, of course, in the research, that there really is such a thing as a morning person, and a night owl, and what they discovered is, that if you're a morning person, you are more productive in the morning, but if you can do your hardest things at your best time of day, and you're easiest things at your worst time of day, that you can literally double your productivity. That means if you have a child that struggles in math, and you do figure out that this kid is a night owl, then maybe the thing to do is to if he's interested in trying it, let him work a little bit later, a little bit past bedtime to finish the math and sleep in a little more in the morning.

S -

And everybody will be happier. And I worked with a colleague once who actually was an early morning and a late-night person. But it was that midday that he could not be productive. So he would get up in the morning and crank out emails and make lesson plans and then during the day was a little bit more low energy. And then late at night, nine to...it wasn't unusual for me to get an email from him that had been written at one A.M. Because that was just what he could do. Both ends.

C -

Now, some people need music. But, if you've got multiple people in the household, you have multiple different kinds of music plus, how do you know if listening to music... you give 'em headphones... and how do you know if the music they're listening to is just for fun, they wanna listen to it, or whether it's really productive?

S -

It all comes down...it always comes back to prove to me it's working. And I...even in the classroom, same thing. We've tried music and some kids work better with it and some kids don't. And so, sometimes you have to compromise. Okay, this is going to be the no-music time of the day. This will be the music time of the day. But even then, I've learned that, with most kids, with most people, if it's music they can sing along to, it's more distracting. If it's instrumental but it's something familiar, maybe they hum along to it. That tends to be less distracting. But again that's a preference.

C -

And the proving it works is a big deal, I'm always... and of course, you say, alright I'll make you a deal. I'm gonna let you listen to the music in your headphones, cause you're gonna prove to me that it works. And the other part of that deal is, I have to approve of the music that you're listening to because again, we're giving them responsibility and shifting responsibility for a lot of their own learning to them. But we always, always, always hold them accountable. You don't say, to your child, oh it's okay, if you don't wanna do it, you don't have to. No. We say, well, you know, I know you don't like that. Bottom line is, here's what I need. Now, if you can think of another way to get to that bottom line, I'm willing to listen to the possibilities. To listen to any proposals. That's really good, cause that does two things. It lets them know that there is accountability. But they do have to start thinking then, hmm, what do I need if I don't wanna do something? If I'm really miserable, what does this take to really get myself motivated? Cause someday they're gonna leave you.

S -

And that's a great conversation to start having, even when they're young. Even now. You know, five, six years old, to say, what would it take to get you to do, I don't know, pick up your clothes? What would motivate you to do it? And maybe you don't use those words, but with my kids, I would say, you know if you want to watch a little tv, you need to get your clothes put away. Let me know when you're done, and then we'll watch tv. So, and they would say, I don't wanna watch tv today, I want to play a game. Okay, well we can play a game. When you get your clothes done. And then they learn what motivates them.

C -

Right. And one of the classic examples I give in my You Can't Make Me, But I Can Be Persuaded book for the strong-willed child is, you know, you can say, you're really after this...your daughter to clean her room and she just won't do it. And so you finally say, look, what's it gonna take to get you to clean your room? And the first question, almost, is nothing. I don't wanna clean my room. And so you say, well, nice try. Why don't I just ask you a little bit later, we'll start again. So then, later you say, okay, we're thinking about this...what's it gonna take to get you to clean your room? Money. Cash money. So you say, well, how much money are we talking about? Five thousand dollars. Of course, that first answer, now whoever speaks next loses, okay? So, don't just say, oh, I can't believe you said that. You just, you blink and if you have to say something, you just repeat back the answer she just gave you. Five thousand dollars. And right away, usually, she'll go, okay five dollars. And then you say, okay, I'll tell you what, for the next two weeks, if your room is clean every day, on Friday, I'm gonna give you five dollars. But after that two weeks, you have to think of something else. A privilege, an extra thing.

S -

Something else to get you going.

C -

Right. And again, we go back to that, those two things. First of all, it lets you know, I'm not gonna let you off the hook for cleaning your room. But secondly, you need to start thinking, what does it take? What's the motivation?

S -

And you wanna make sure that they understand, this is a life skill that as adults, we have to do things that we don't wanna do and there are ways that we help ourselves to do them. You don't want it to look like you are creating a new way to control, but you need to make it very clear, you know, your whole life, you're gonna have to do things you don't wanna do. If you can learn now, ways to give yourself little jumpstart, and what will help you to keep moving forward until it's done, that's an invaluable skill.

C -

And we're not trying to bribe 'em, right?

S -

Right.

C -

We're not just giving them what they want, but it is the skill, and it is a skill to understand, as early as possible. Oh boy, when I walk in a place and nothing matches what I need, nothing matches what I want, how am I gonna get myself through this? How am I gonna...instead of quit...how am I gonna go ahead and figure out what I should be doing. And it's good to share your own experiences too. This is what I do. If I have a stack of work to do, I tell myself, I can play candy crush when I'm done. Or I tell myself, I can go out for a walk when I get half of this done. But even learning to break it into doable increments can be helpful. finding out what really floats your boat can be helpful. All of these things help us. It's all a part of that whole self-discipline piece. Sometimes though, don't you think you have to give your kids practice in thinking about things they like besides the old favorites. Like, these days, a lot of screen time, right? A lot of screen time. And so, I see a lot of parents just rewarding their kids...if you'll read for ten minutes, then you can have ten minutes of screen time. And that's okay, but that should be just one thing. And so you say to your child, you know, what else do you like to do? And it's amazing how many kids, when you ask that, oh, I just like to do that. Or I just like to do this. And so I think, even at a young age, you could start encouraging them to make a list of what do I like? What do I like to do? And even in your family dinner or something and somebody says something they like, you go, oh, you should add that to your what I like list. Because then we can start building a what I like list and know that some of these are what you can use as motivation for me to do something I don't like.

S -

And sometimes kids really aren't aware of what it is that gives them enjoyment, and you do have to point that out to them. Hey, you really seem to be liking that. Well, you know that conversation we had about what motivates you? That could be something that you would like to do.

C -

It's pretty easy to figure out who the morning people are, isn't it? And who the night owls are?

S -

Yeah, who's making the conversation at breakfast?

C -

Yes. And I know this, you know, Mike, when he was a junior in high school, and he's always been really good at math. And he was making straight A's, and he... the math class he got that year, he came home with like a C- and I said, whoa, Mike, what's the deal. And he goes, Mom, he said, I have to take this class, right after lunch. And he said, I'm just a morning person, and I'm just, I can't even concentrate. And I said, well is there another option, and he said, yeah, I think I'm gonna go ask the counselor if I can't switch to ten o'clock in the morning class. Third-period class. And so that's what he did. He went and he switched classes and in no time, he was back to his A status. And you would think it wouldn't be that simple. But sometimes, it really is.

S -

And he was aware. He knew that this was a better time for him. That's a big thing.

C -

And one of my favorite stories comes out of another part of this finding the right spot and the right place to study. Is the temperature.

S -

You know, this is a big deal for you. You are very temperature sensitive.

C -

I am very temperature sensitive. And if I'm too hot, I just can't think about anything else. True.

S -

I have witnessed this.

C -

I need to have it just...so, I'll say, well, we'll just open the door and find out. I just, I can't think, I can't think, I can't think, I can't... When Robert was in third grade, we kept the boys in separate classrooms, mostly for their teacher's sake. And Rob's third-grade teacher called me out of the blue and she said, I'm calling, not about Rob. She said he's fine. But his classmate, we'll call him Sam, and she said, Sam just isn't paying attention. He won't listen to anything I say. He won't do any homework assignments. He won't do any assignments in class. He won't work. He squirms. He fidgets. He's just totally out of control in class. She said we've tried everything. We've tried testing him for ADD and ODD and just like, he doesn't have anything, but we just, she said, I wonder, could you come and give your elementary level learning styles test and see if we can figure out what's wrong with Sam?

And so, I came, and before we give an actual profile or anything to the kids, we go through a checklist, a sentence completion. And so Sam took the sentence completion and completed almost every sentence the same way. I would learn better in class if they would've fixed the air conditioning in the portables. I would be able to pay attention to the teacher if it wasn't so hot in here. And every single one had to do with temperature, and we thought, how could it be that easy? But we went to the Dollar Store, we bought a battery-operated clip-on fan, we clipped them on Sam's desk, flipped them on, and he went, WHOOO... and he started listening. I mean, it was...we tracked it the rest of the school year. It was a full 80% improvement. And everybody was panicking, they were thinking, he needs special ed. He needs all kinds of medication. Maybe he needs some therapy or counseling. No, for Sam, at least, he was just totally overwhelmingly, completely, hot. And as soon as he wasn't too hot, he was paying attention. And, it's sometimes the littlest things, and you spend a lot of time with your kids at home, so you can pay attention. Why is he fidgeting? Why is she not understanding this? And you can even ask them, are you uncomfortable? Would you be comfortable moving over here? Are you too hot? Do you need it a little cooler in here? And you would be surprised how much that can correlate with how much they're really paying attention.

S -

And for parents, for example, if the temperature is...if they don't suffer from temperature sensitivity like I don't. That might not be something they even think about. But to ask the questions and to observe what's going on is just vitally important. Another thing and I learned a lot about this from you, is the lightness, the brightness in the room. And we were taught, when we were growing up, you need to have bright lights or you're going to strain your eyes. And that has been proven to not be true. And I find, even in the classroom, where I offer a dark side of the room and a light side of the room, a lot of the kids prefer dark, especially if they're working on a screen. But some of them, they would much rather have it bright, bright light. And they will always gravitate towards the windows. So, you might have a kid who wants to close blinds, and work with maybe a small lamp, or maybe even just by the light of the screen. You might have another who wants all the blinds up and all the lights on, and burn up your electricity bill. But is learning better that way?

C -

And again, that's the point, right? We have to say, what's the point? Is the point that you get to have order or you get to have it a certain way when they're learning or is the point for them to learn. And for them to be able to do that?

S -

And here's another one that's interesting, that's very unique to 21st-century learning, and that is, do students prefer electronic, digital versions of things, or are they more old-school, and they like the paper version? I've been surprised the last couple years, when we were studying a literature book, asking students, how many of you want a paper copy of the book? How many copies should I order? And it runs about half, and the other half, they're reading it on their digital devices, taking notes. Some students prefer to do the typing of the notes on the laptop. Others prefer to actually write them out on paper and pen. Now there are some studies that show the actual writing by hand of notes helps them to learn better, but maybe that's not true for everybody.

C -

Right. And that's true. And I, even now, every single one of my books, I still write out longhand before I sit down to the computer. But then, I'm kinda old-school, right? But I have seen five-year-old’s and seven-year-olds and they don't have any of that kind of experience, but they're still drawn, not to the computer to do it, but to sit down with a piece of paper, visually look at it, or physically write something, or talk to somebody about it. So, don't...we wanna caution parents not to be too quick to think that the digital media is what they want. The FaceTime and the videos, it doesn't always translate. They need some time, some one on one time, talking in person.

S -

And I think that brings us back to our main point, which is, you need to find what works. You need to be open to what works. Be willing to experiment. Observe. Be aware. Ask a lot of questions. Find out what the best learning environment is going to be for that child, who's learning at home.

C -

Right. Let's talk about what we're gonna talk about in the next upcoming podcast. Plus, we would welcome your questions if you have a specific question you wanna ask or something that you want us to address. We would be happy to talk about that. But, we're gonna talk about, in the next few podcast, for example, how many times do you have to say something for the kid to actually remember it? Right? You find yourself saying, I have told you again and again and again. I'm gonna give you a few clues and quick things you can do to make sure that your child is actually, number one, listening, and number two, where they actually remember it. And we're gonna talk about, well, we're gonna talk about middle school. We're gonna talk about...

S -

That transition. This is usually when my homeschool friends contact me. Ah, you know, nine, ten, everything was great. Now, suddenly, my child is 11 and 12 and I'm getting all kinds of attitude and would rather be on Snapchat with their friends than getting their work done, and I just don't know what to do. And so we can talk about the changes that come with puberty, and the transitions to middle school and what works and what probably never works, and even look into why they act the way they do. Why 13 is so different from 11.

C -

And we're also gonna talk about, in one of the podcasts, or two of them actually, or three maybe, about strong-willed kids.

S -

Oh, you're good at that.

C -

Yeah. And how you can get them to do what you want without all of the anger and the conflict.

S -

And it's lifechanging. Lifechanging.

C - And you know, the bottom line to all these podcasts, the bottom line is, every child is different and every child is wonderful and unique and changes the world in a different way. And we would love to help you celebrate that.

S -

And keep remembering, it's never just another day.




Wendy -

Thank you for joining us this week on the Homeschool Solutions Show. As always, you can find show notes and links to all the resources mentioned at homeschooling.mom. I hope you'll take a moment to subscribe to the podcast, and if it was especially meaningful to you, share it with your friends via email or social media. This is just another way we can all encourage and love and support one another.

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But in the meantime, let's gather together again here, on the podcast next week.


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