CM 3 Episode  #31 Homeschooling with Little Ones with Giving Them Beauty

CM 3 Episode #31 Homeschooling with Little Ones with Giving Them Beauty

Links and Resources:

Show Notes:

Christina Umbriaco is a mountain mama raising four children in Utah. Their faith and family culture has been greatly shaped by the ideologies of the L’Abri Fellowship started in 1955 by Francis and Edith Schaeffer, which is where the inspiration for Give Them Beauty came from.

Christina is passionate about protecting and nurturing childhood and seeks to do that through homeschooling her children using the Charlotte Mason method and philosophy. She also has a heart to encourage other courageous mothers on the homeschooling journey as well.

Show Transcript:

CM EP 31



Julie -

Welcome to the Charlotte Mason Show, a podcast dedicated to discussing Miss Mason's philosophy principles and methods. It is our hope that each episode will leave you inspired and offer practical wisdom on how to provide this rich living education in your modern home school. So pull up a chair. We're glad you're here.

Today's episode of the Charlotte Mason Show was brought to you by Medi-share. Find out more about this affordable Christian alternative to traditional health insurance at medishare.com.



Hello everyone, welcome to the Charlotte Mason Show. I'm your host, Julie Ross, I'm here today with Christina Umbriaco from Give Them Beauty. And I am so excited about today's episode because I get asked about homeschooling with little ones all the time, this question. Oh, it just comes up because let's just be honest, it's really, really difficult. But there is hope. There is a way to just enjoy those moments because they do not last forever. And I know people say that...used to say that to me when my kids were little, and I had three kids under the age of three, and I would just, like, be, like, at the grocery store, like, uh-huh, yeah, yeah, I know doesn't last forever. Thank goodness, right? But you know now looking back to my kids are older, it really doesn't. And so Christina is just a wealth of knowledge. If you follow her on Instagram, I'm sure you've seen her lovely pictures, and I know she has some wonderful inspiration to share with us all today. So thank you for being with us, Christina.

Christina -

Thanks for having me.

Julie -

Yeah, so I would love to hear about your family, and just about your homeschooling journey before we dive in here.

C -

Okay, we have four children. We live in Utah, in Salt Lake City. My oldest is seven. She'll be eight in March. My son turned six this month. The three-year-old and a one-year-old, and we've been homeschooling from the very beginning.

J -

Okay, and how did you hear about Charlotte Mason?

C -

After we were married for a year, we moved to St Louis, Missouri to attend Covenant Theological Seminary. So, my husband earned his degree, his master of counseling there, and so he's a licensed therapist here in Salt Lake. And it was while we were living in Saint Louis that we attended this church called Grace and Peace Fellowship, and they were greatly influenced by the Schafers. Frances Schafer actually preached there, once, back in like the 70s. And that culture there, the church, the community, everything just shaped us and we were so impacted by them. There was just this huge emphasis on delighting in the arts that, you know, there's no distinction between sacred versus secular, but that all of life is under the Lordship of Christ. And we were just, were so impressed. And so it was there that we met women who did things so differently and they had their babies at home and they homeschooled, and I just fell in love with it.

So one of my friends she introduced me to Charlotte Mason and encouraged me to read the infamous For the Children's Sake. By Susan Schafer McCaulley, of course, the daughter of Francis and Edith Schaeffer. So, I was just hooked and I've never looked back.

J -

That's awesome. That's really cool. Do you feel like you have a community where you're currently living of other homeschool moms who follow this philosophy?

C -

Yeah, not...there's a couple people in our church who homeschool. But yeah, starting a wild and free group, I have found kindred souls and spirits who do the Charlotte Mason method but. Not everyone does, but...

J -

Yeah, yeah.

C -

...my group of friends that I need, yes.

J -

Yeah, good. That's so great. Yeah, I love the Schafer's. How Then Shall We Live is on Amazon Prime now. So that's really cool. Been watching that with my kids, so yeah, so I...like I said, I'm really excited to talk about this because I get asked about this a lot and I have a feeling it's probably a frequent conversation that you have as well.

C -

Yes, people are always asking how do I do this with little kids? And yeah, because you want to, you know, you don't want to just like completely un-school and...

J -

Right?

C -

Your big kids, just off the rails because you are trying to soak up all these moments and, you know, you will have ample time for that. But you do want to find this balance of, like, okay, how do I actually start for formal lessons for my big kids? While, you know, enjoying these, you know, younger years so.

J -

And I love that you came up with a little acronym for the different things that we're going to talk through today because I'm such...I don't know, I just love it. It just helps me remember things.

It helps me so much in life to have these little acronyms that I use to help me remember different things.

So, what's the acronym that you came up with to help us explore this topic?

C -

So, it is serve, S-E-R-V-E. That's what we will be talking through.

J -

Okay, cool, so let's jump in with S. What does S stand for?

C -

So, S is for stick to those habits. And the habits that I'm talking about are ones of the heart, hand, and home. So I'm going to start with habits of the heart.

So, the 60 or so habits that Charlotte Mason talked about, two are top priority for us. Habit of obedience, and a habit of attention. So for me, at this stage, with little kids, I focus on the habit of obedience.

J -

Yeah.

C -

Peacemaking, okay? So ever since my kids were small, I have asked them, okay, what is your job? They will say to listen and obey. And I say, okay, what's my job? And they say to take care of us. And we discuss that as parents. We can't do our job if they don't do theirs. So we talk about boundaries and the safety, you know, as created beings, similar to how fish can't survive outside of water. A bird doesn't thrive without flying through the air. We also suffer when we don't listen to the good commands of our Father. So we just have to have children who obey. We have to have an emphasis on raising children who listen. And if we're called to home school, I think it's just an absolute must.


J -

Oh, yeah for sure. Yeah. I love what you said about the habits of home, hand, and heart. Did you come up with yourself or is that a Susan Schafer McCaulley thing? It sounds familiar.

C -

Yeah, I really just made it up myself. Yeah. So let me finish out with the heart, and then we'll jump...

So, with the habit of obedience and peacemaking. So we personally work on this, not through authoritative meetings. Like, I know it can kind of sound harsh, like, you have to obey. But you can get your children to obey through attachment parenting and connection. So the premise is that our children will actually want to obey when our connection with them is strong. So, it has at least been our experience. And an excellent, excellent book that I recommend every parent to read, is Hold Onto Your Kids, by Gordon Newfield.

J -

Hmm. I haven't heard that one.

C -

...wrote it too, with him. Meter, I think, but it's a great book about the importance of parent orientation or in connection over peer orientation. So kind of you know, connection, obedience, topic. That's a wonderful book to dive into. So.

J -

Okay, yeah. I'll link that in the show notes, yeah. I really like Dan. Sewell stuff as well on attachment for me, but the whole brain and child.

C -

Oh cool, yes.

J -

Yeah.

C -

Heard of it. I don't have it, and I've never read it.

J -

Yeah, so cool. Yeah, I love that. And I think that's very much...falls in line with what Charlotte Mason was teaching too. Just, you know, like she says, you know, these kind of character deficits and taking care of them is like, you know, if your child had measles, you're not like, well, okay, I hope they get better and, you know, like, you're actively involved in your care, taking them, and walking them through it, you know, and yeah, I love that.

C -

Yeah, so you know, and then we jump into, along with obedience, they have to be peacemakers. Like, I just think those two things go so hand in hand if we're going to...I mean, I've talked to moms, like at the park, and they'll ask, you know, about schooling, especially now. What we're doing? Are you learning at distance schooling, or whatever? And you say, well, no, we're homeschooling. They're just like, ah, I just couldn't get my kids to listen to me. I just wouldn't work cause they won't listen to me.

And, it just kind of breaks my heart, you know, because it's such a...you know, homeschooling, in general, such a beautiful thing, and moms can so do it. And so, I just think from the very beginning, if we can get these two habits, you know, down, it will just be so good.

So the second habit of the heart that I wanted to mention is the habit of peacemaking. So in our home, personally, we frame everything under the umbrella of the ultimate story of God's story. So everything is framed under, you know, the question of, is this using God's wisdom? Is this of the King? Or is this trusting the snake? That's kind of the language that we use when we talk to them about our words and our actions. So, we just have to have peacemaking in order to live life together in this way. I think it was Cindy Rollins, in her book, that said, motherhood is the place of dreaming hopes and crushed fantasies and...and sinners in relationship with one another. So that is just so true. We're super early on in our journey, but just seeing their friendships blossom from having to live together day in and day out is just so amazing. And so it's just so worth the effort.

J -

Do you have any specific books or resources on that kind of idea of peacemaking among siblings?

C -

Oh well, let's see.

J -

Or any specific tools that you do? Like, let's say there's, you know, two siblings that are going at it. You know, how do you broach that kind of peacemaking in the moment?

C -

Yeah. Let's see, if we...cause they're always going at it. I mean...

J -

Right. Okay, good ??? the only house.

C -

We are not equals all the time. It is like a habit that...

J -

Right, right.

C -

...born sinners, like, we are absolutely depraved, and that is very evident you have children. We personally, I mean, we just jump right in and we don't, like, let them, you know, fend for themselves. And, typically, we just, you know, physical separation. And then we just talk about it. You know? So, under those kind of...the language of like, okay, this is not using God's wisdom. You know, this is not helpful, and then get both sides of the story and try to solve the problem. But just using the Word we have, you know, let's be peacemakers with this...

J -

Yeah, I really like...I hadn't thought of that before. I like that word as well. Yeah. You kind of seeing that...like, this is our identity. This is who we are striving to become with God's help. Yeah.


C -

And I know there's some books that friends on Instagram have mentioned, and I've got 'em listed somewhere, but I think...

J -

Okay. We can just put 'em in the show notes, yeah? I just don't know if there's anything off the top of your head. Cause I know, like, that's huge. And I hear that all the time too. Like, I can't home school cause my kid wanna sit around. My kids fight all the time, or...and it does distract. I mean it's very hard when there's constant bickering, to get a history lesson done. Yeah, so you rob the smooth and easy days with these two habits for sure.

C -

Yes, like yeah, for the most part, if, like, their tummies are full and their hearts are full, you know, if you've given them the attention they need and all that. Yes, there will be some bickering, but, I mean if there's, like, constant bickering, I think there's just probably bigger issues going on that haven't been addressed or something but. For the most part, they're friends. We call them frenemies, you know.

J -

Yes. Yeah, uh-huh, for sure. Yeah, like a porcupine, yeah. We're a little prickly but we love each other. Yeah, uh-huh.

C -

There's my habit of the hands. That one is just sticking to a habit of the daily rhythm. Children...


J -

Oh, I love that, yeah.

C -

...really thrive when they know what to expect. They thrive in predictable conditions. I think that, you know, also helps with this sibling rivalry stuff, of just, like, doing the same thing over and over. They're not like thrown off or feeling like, you know, one is getting more attention than the other or something. Things are the same, over and over and over, so we typically keep our mornings reserved for duty, for lessons. And we kinda keep our afternoons more open for leisure. So I would just encourage moms to really find their flow. Like, it's easy to want to take someone else's schedule and plan, and, like, do it exactly for, you know, for themselves.

But that just won't work. Every family is so different, you really have to find your own groove and just stick to it. And, you know, we switch things up on the weekends, and we enjoy more unscheduled days and...but for the first four days of the week, we really try to stick to a gentle rhythm.

J -

Yeah, I really like what you said about having to kind of find your own way. Especially, you know, life happens and so, you know, if you become too rigid, and your routine becomes a schedule and a dictator, you're going to be frustrated. And when you add in a new baby or you add in a sickness, or you added having to take care of a parent, or you're adding a move, or all the other things that happen in our lives, right? Like, that schedule might have to change. And so, you have to be willing to go, okay, well this was working when they were these ages, but it's now getting to the point where this is not working anymore. What do I need to change? How can we start a new routine and a new rhythm? And I've had to do that so many times throughout the years, as my kids have grown for different stages, or we've gone to different places. You know, just allow that flexibility. Allow it to grow and be, like, an organic thing too, I think is really helpful.

C -

Right. And really focus on yours. Like, it's so easy, especially with, like, you know, everyone on Instagram just giving their own, here's our schedule, here's our schedule, you know? That you wanna...and when you're just starting out, you're really floundering for like, okay, how do I do this? And you want to take and adopt someone else's schedule but that just won't work for you.

J -

Yeah, I totally agree. That's great. And I...yeah, I love the idea of just having, this is what we do first, and this is what we do second, and having this kind of, like, routine, rather than set times because you know, especially with babies, that schedule can just get thrown off real fast, depending on how someone wakes up in the morning, right?

C -

Right. Oh, totally. And then they're transitioning to one nap a day and all that, right? Yeah, so then we have the last habit of our home. And so this one is not at all meant to be, like, mom-shaming. Please don't hate me for it. But I personally think it's very important just to keep...and Charlotte Mason would back me on this, but we have to keep the habit of tidiness. My house is not clean by any means, but it is tidy. I think it's important just to have, like, an organized school area. Some organized stations. You know where things go. You know where things are when you need to pull from...for them. Everything in its proper place and just an overall tidy home.

I feel chaotic, you know, chaotic in constant mess. Personally, I think...do as well. You know they're born persons. And I think a tiny home means a tidy mind, and you just have to have organized thoughts to juggle the demands of a homeschooling parent, especially one with small children. So this is, that's just something that I personally stick to, so I don't fly off the handle, you know, under immense pressure of raising and educating small kids.

J -

So how do you teach them to keep that tidiness? Like, is there a certain time of day or system?

C -

Yeah. No, I know a lot of people, yeah, they just kind of let the house get all messy and then, like around four o'clock is something called, that they call a blessing hour, where, you know, where they'll...that's the time to tidy up. Personally, for us, and I think it just might be, you know, living in this environment since from day one, it's just like they've been, you know, automatically trained in a sense, to just, once you start a new thing or when you're going to play with something else, you have to clean up what you were playing with.

So they just do it automatically. Even my little toddler. Well, she's, yeah, three, she will just pick up after yourself. You just are...I'm always...so it's a little OCD on my part. I have to, I really have to work to let them make a mess because children should make messes. You know? I let them build forts and nests.

J -

Yeah. Right. Yeah.

C -

But it doesn't stay out all day.

J -

Yes.

C -

If we're gonna have something else, okay, you know. And they're always sad about it, but, you know, they understand, if we want to be able to do the fun things that we have planned for the day, then we have to clean up this, because we're not going to want to return to it. So I think it's continually practicing the art of tidying up. You know? You may just learn to do it.

J -

Yeah, and that and that does keep, yeah, your day flowing easier than everything accumulating on top of each other, that looks like a tornado came through. Yeah.

C -

If I feel, like, behind on things in the house. Yeah I'm not gonna be able to handle the task. So I always have...yeah, just to stay on top of the little things in the house. Okay, here's a mess here. Let's tidy that. Let's move on. Yeah, it's just, it helps with the flow.

J -

And talk about we're talking bout that you have these organized stations? What are those?

C -

So, we have our school room just, that, you know, you can buy them. I think we got it off Amazon. But, just like the bookshelf. The white bookshelf with all the cubbies. You know, the kids have their school basket. They each have a school basket with, you know, like preschool stuff. Bunch of toys in there. It's not like her little learning stuff, yeah, it's just her fun things. But she likes to feel included and feel like a big kid, so she has her own little basket. And then I have, you know, Montessori items on the top shelf, and they always get put back where they go. And the nature shelf has things that they can take out and play with. And those go back where they go. So just having, like, organized stations in that sense of, you know, I know where, if I need something for my preschooler, he will play so I can do this narration with my daughter. I have that ready at the, you know, available to me. If it's played with and left somewhere in the house and I need it, you know, I'm at a loss.

J -

Oh, my gosh, I know that's the worst, isn't it? Where is that book? Yeah, I know. That's why having that habit of tidiness so handy cause ??? so much time.

C -

Yes.

J -

So is that something that, like, you would assign? Like, okay, you need to go to the nature table or is that just, they can kind of go as...or you can pull those things as we need them throughout your day?

C -

I pull them as I need them. Yeah.

J -

Okay. Okay.

C -

We are just free-range except for my second grader and sometimes my kinder will come in and join. So yeah, I will talk about that when it gets to the E.

J -

Okay. Okay. Let's see, I'm just getting, I'm getting ahead of myself here. Okay. So S was about habits of the heart, obedience, and peacemaking. The habit of home with our routines and our rhythms for our day. And then the habit of home and tidiness. Okay. Was there anything else you want to say about that S and sticking to those habits?

C -

No.

J -

Alright. So, what was E?

C -

So E is for enjoy. And this is all about mother culture, which is a term coined by...help me out. I'm forgetting.


J -

Me. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, it was in one of the Parent Review...yeah, uh-huh.

C -

Right. Okay. So, you know, some people will message and they're like, what is mother culture? And I'm just like, you should read. Read Mother Culture by Karen Andreola. But, just how we fill our cup. How we take care of ourselves. So E is for enjoy, and this is just about moms. We can really only spill what we hold. And so we have to have good things pouring into our head, our heart, our mind. Good things that fill us up. Good things that we enjoy. We need to be rooted in God's Word. It really does shape us. So whatever is going on inside of us is what we're going to pour out to our kids.



And you know, this is a hard, hard job and we just can't do it running on empty, so.

J -

Yeah. Do you have any specific resources or tips for what to do for that mother culture?


C -

I think you just really have to know yourself. Like, as an introvert for myself, I..it is good for me just to get out and be in my own head. Like, I can't have the bickering work. I just need some space in my own head to be able to think. So for me personally, my...we had a chicken coop built over the summer, as, like, a pandemic project. And it is my happy place. It is half storage and it's half coop and I will go there, and I just feed the chickens and I throw them seeds and they don't scream at me. They don't...change their diaper. They maybe fight, but you know, I don't...it doesn't matter.

J -

Yeah.

C -

But that is a safe, happy place for me, that you know, throughout the day, I'll just walk out there to the coop, take them some spinach or a head of cabbage or something and give him a treat. And so that's one thing for me. I also subscribe to the Commonplace Quarterly Magazine, which is a Charlotte Mason magazine and I just love that love that. Getting it.

J -

It's beautiful.

C -

Here, it's so wonderful. So little things like that. Little ways to pamper yourself, even if it's just, you know, getting five minutes to yourself, and it...just trying to really take in that moment. So, like we mentioned earlier, the book by Karen Andreola is fantastic, so I would definitely recommend picking up that.

J -

Yeah, I really...yeah, I'll put that in the show notes as well. I really like is that it's very easy to read. Like, each chapter's just a short little snippet. So I try to do, like a, just personal tea time after lunch.

It started when my younger ones were taking naps, which they don't do anymore. Now my youngest two only have room time for an hour after lunch. The older ones are still...all do school now during that time, and it's...this year we'll probably start where they'll have to just...they're... that room time's gonna get less and less cause they have more school. But, you know, just having that, like, little ten minutes just to sit there and enjoy cup of tea and some quiet. And yeah, that book was perfect cause it would...just, it gives me that little boost of remembering my why. Like why am I doing this? Cause some days I'm questioning my sanity. Why did I decide this was a good idea? I'm not sure for sure.

C -

No. you're sure.

J -

And you know, kind of filling my own cup, like you said, yeah.


C -

Yes, it's such a beautiful book. And yeah, the chapters are super short, so it's just enough. You don't start something and you have to put it down because, you know you...

J -

Yeah, yeah, I can't read a novel cause otherwise my kids wouldn't, like, eat. So yeah, it has to be something short.

C -

Yeah.

J -

Oh, that's good. Okay, so it was for enjoy. Was there anything else you wanted to say? And that's just mostly enjoying ourselves.

C -

Yeah. Filling your cup with...


J -

Our own time, yeah.


C -

I'm sorry. Yeah.

J -

Good, okay, and then what about R?


C -

R is for relationship. We have to remember, just like you just said, what we are doing this for. Relationship first. And so this is about connection over correction. We want...you know, we've decided to homeschool because we want what's best for our kids. We want to be with them. We want relationship. We want connectedness. We want them to thrive. And so, we've made this choice for that chief end. It's just important to remember that before any kind of strict academic achievement or task, that we really connect with our kids first and foremost.


I think, with smaller kids, this is particularly important. I personally try to focus on the smaller kids first thing, prior to, like, formal lessons with my oldest. She'll be reading in her bed, and I'll just try to play and, like, fill the cups of my little, little kids...

J -

Yes, that's such good advice. Yes. Totally. Yeah, so...uh-huh. Yeah, so.

C -

You know they're very smart. They are born persons, when they really know when we're trying to, like, push them off, you know?

J -

Right.

C -

We can fill their cups with attention and snuggles, then hopefully, hopefully being the keyword there, they will feel a bit more independently, so it's just important to remember relationship, and not to sacrifice that for productivity.


J -

Oh yes, that is such good advice. Yes. Right. Yeah. And it's so hard to do sometimes, because, it's like, I really want to get through all this, or check off all these boxes, and, yeah, it's just...yeah, and like I said, like, those...that relationship is what's always going to be there, and I'm so thankful for my adult children and the connection and deep relationship that we have is priceless. You know, and didn't matter whether we finish that math book for the year, like, back in whatever grade, you know? Like, what matters is that they call me on a regular basis and want to come home. And, you know, like, that relationship is way more priceless and that's what's gonna last so. For sure.



Today's episode is brought to you by A Gentle Feast. A Gentle Feast is a complete curriculum for grades one through twelve that is family-centered, inspired by Miss Mason's programs and philosophy, and rooted in books, beauty, and Biblical truth. You can find out how smooth and easy days are closer than you think at agentlefeast.com.





So is there anything else that you do during your day, you know, like, I love the idea of like, focusing on little ones first, because yeah, they are just like little sponges. And they need that attention, and they need a lot, right? But anything else that you, like, would do during the day to kind of focus on relationships?

C -

So we have kind of a particular window that we do for school and I will talk about that when we get to E. But yeah, I mean, then, after that, we're kind of all together. You know, for quite a time. That's kind of a good time for us. We do really try to stick to that. Kinda make it mandatory to, you know, sit, and we'll just, okay, I need to sit with you now. We're going to do quiet time and we're going to read some books and kind of snuggle. And while we wind down, you know, and hopefully, they take a nap. But not often do they take naps. I mean, my little baby will, but my toddler's not so much anymore. She resists it with all her might so. It is. But then yeah, after lessons, it's really a free for all and, you know, we're in...I'll talk about that too, but, like, we just wait and dance parties and there's so many opportunities to, you know, hang out with them and cook and bake and do all that fun stuff. So this is just time to...how do we, you know, deal with the little ones while we're trying to do formal lessons thing.

J -

Right. Yeah. Right. I, you know, as I have gotten older, I've seen the value of having one on one time with each kid. Out of the house. So, you know, with younger ones, obviously, would need to do it when someone can watch them and take, you know...but like at...once they get to be school age, you know, having those moments where...and it doesn't have to be a big deal.


C -

At the grocery or something even.

J -

Yeah, like, it's just, like, I'm just taking you and when they used to everybody coming, it's like, oh, I special. Like, my son we just went and walked around at this park the other day and he just rode his scooter and he was...I mean, he's a boy. So, like, we didn't have, like, these deep, philosophical discussions or anything. But it was like, look at me, Mom, like, I could flip around and do that, and you're like...but he had my undivided attention. There was nobody else asking me for anything, you know? I could just tell, like, that so filled his bucket. So.

C -

Yes, yes, that's...for us, that's just going to the grocery, like, Trader Joe's run. And it's like, okay, who's turn is it to come? And Edie will say - she's my 3 year old - she'd be like, can we have Mama-Daughter special time? And for her, that just means sitting in the cart and we're just, talking, you know, and hanging out, talking in the car. But yeah, that is a very good point. Just having that one-on-one time with each kid.

J -

And you know, one of the things that I do when a kid has finished a book is, we'll have our special, like, date where we talk about the book. So, you know, when they were little, it was just like, okay, we'll have milk and cookies or make hot chocolate or something. Okay, let's sit and talk about this book. Kind of like a book club, but on a much younger level, and you know, but as my kids have gotten older, you know, they love going and...to a coffee shop. And they feel, like, all grown up. You know, like oh, I'm sitting here with my book, talking about, you know, this book with my mom, you know? And, but it develops that kind of, like, lifelong...like, this is why we're reading. It's not to fill out a bunch of worksheet questions. But it does, it helps them, you know, definitely, with their comprehension, but it helps with that relationship too, which is why I love having our practice.

C -

Yeah, we started doing that with your curriculum, of just starting the book talks and going to the park, and, you know, we'll ride bikes there. So I've only done this with my oldest. But you know, once my son starts, we'll start doing it with him too. But yeah, riding to the bike, riding our bikes to the park and taking a little picnic and...

J -

Aww, that's cute.

C -

Finishing that we're talking about the book and, yeah. Those are just memories that, like, I'll remember forever and I know she will too so.

J -

Yeah. That's sweet. And it's funny, like, as they get older, too, like, even if I don't assign it or do something like that with my older kids, like they'll just come to me and be, like, hey Mom, I read such and such. And we'll just start talking about, you know? Like, it becomes a habit too, which is really fun. And built that kind of family culture in that relationship around literature, which is neat.

Alright? So let's move on. What was V?

C -

V is vulnerability.

J -

Woo Hoo.

C -

It is about finding your tribe and those kindred spirits, and just reaching out to a friend. Because, I mean, this is only a season and it will pass. But it is, like I said, so hard and you will find yourself in a bad mindset and very overwhelmed. And so, if you do that alone, I think that's very scary. You don't wanna put yourself in that position. You have to have people. You have to have actual, in real life, friends who you can reach out to and text and call when you're in a bad mindset or you're overwhelmed so. I mean they will empathize with you and we so need that. Just if they, you know, just be a text. And sometimes I think it's good to, you know, be vulnerable and call someone for, like, physical help. If you can.

You know, I'm just two minutes away from my parents. And my mom, she will sometimes just come and she'll sit with the younger ones, so I have uninterrupted time with my oldest. And those are for, like, the days when I just can't keep up the juggling act. You know, it is struggling and I don't think there's any shame in just calling someone for help, and say just, gosh, just come and sit and be with my kids. You know, so that they're getting interaction and so that I can just have undivided time. But it takes real vulnerability to ask for help and...but, bottom line is just we need quality friendships and support to do this job well.

J -

Yeah, for sure. That's really, that's such a good point. And honestly, I don't think that ever goes away. Like...

C -

Right.

J -

...having little ones is physically exhausting. Having teenagers is emotionally exhausting. And oftentimes, I think when our kids get to be older, we feel, we can become very isolated because we know, when your kids are little, you're like, oh, let's meet at the park or, you know, kind of have these, let's go have a play date. Well, nobody, like, with their 14-year-old is like hey, do you want to come have a playdate? Like, you know? The kids go do their things but the parents aren't having that community anymore. So I found, as my kids got older, like, I had to be super intentional about still cultivating that community that I need, and not get...and you're just so busy running here, there, and everywhere, you know, that it's like, now if I don't, if I don't really set time aside to connect with other homeschool moms, it's not gonna happen. So. Yeah, I think it doesn't matter what age your kids are.

And that's so great that your parents are there. That's, wow, what a blessing, that would just...how amazing that...


C -

??? and that's not something that a lot of people have, and I'm just like, oh my gosh, I don't know how you do it, you know? Because she is such a help to me and I mean. Yeah, it's... we live super super close and it's awesome. But even having, just like a...we do like a mom's night, you know, once a month. And, as an introvert, and you know, I'm in bed by like, old lady-ish. Like eight or nine. I am like, I did not want to go out tonight, and...they push me and I am so thankful. Every time I come home, I am just like, oh, that was good, just to stick with other moms and say is this working out for you? No, it's not. Is it working out for you? You know, just saying all the things that you're afraid to say out loud, you know, with other moms and you just get the camaraderie, and it's just, it helps, it keeps you going.

J -

Yeah, I'll put a link to this, but I interviewed the lady who started my Charlotte Mason book club, like, gosh, it's been, like, four years ago now. But, she just went on Facebook and said, hey, are any moms interested in learning more about this homeschooling method and want to read through volumes? And just rented a room at Earth Fair once a month and we all just started meeting. And it's grown exponentially and it's still going. Like, it's amazing. But it just took her going, hey, I need this in my own life, and I don't see it anywhere, and so I'm going to have to create it myself. Sometimes it takes, you know, you being the person that steps out. You know, if you build it they will come kind of thing.

C -

Yeah.


J -

Right. For sure. And then, you know, and sometimes it's taking that risk, because that happened and, you know, homeschool communities, where it didn't feel real safe to be vulnerable. Or it felt very judgmental. And, you know, it might just be trying a bunch of different places till you find a place that you feel like you fit in. You know. Don't give up.

C -

We've definitely done that. Yeah, we were part of a group that just didn't fit right being here in, know, Salt Lake. It's a very different culture. And so we just decided to, okay, let's make another group. And that one's getting really large anyway, and so we made another wild and free group with different moms and, it felt much more inclusive and special so.

J -

That's cool. Yeah. Alright, so now we're getting to the big meat here, with this last letter. So what does the last E stand for?

C -

Well, the E is just the execution of lessons. This is just where the magic happens. Take the time to pour another cup of coffee. Grab the goldfish. They're going to go flying cause you're going in.

What we do, you know, like for every family, it's gonna be a little different, but this is just personally what we do.

So, first things first, we start with the child. Not the lesson plan. Children, they are born persons. You have your plan. You know the plan schedule. But I think you gotta feel your child out. So put before them the next right thing at that time. So, for an example, like, perhaps you're combining the composer study music with the language arts packet so that you have something pleasant to listen to. You're kind of doing two birds with one stone. Perhaps you follow up morning time with math because you know your child is fresh then, and it's going to be a little more difficult later.


So that part of feeling out your child and kind of holding both together of your child in the Lesson plan is kind of hard to describe. But once you start, you have both. I think that, you know, you'll know what I mean. Are they resistant with narrations? So maybe they need some extra affirmation or some cuddles. Maybe they need more food. Maybe they need extra calories. You know. What is it that's causing their distress? Cause we know our kids best. We just have to tune into them and do the next right thing.

I also think about schooling four days a week, instead of five. And in your curriculum, you have the schedule for both, which is awesome, but it's so much easier to do a little bit more each day for four days, rather than adding in a whole other day at the end of a very long week.

J -

Yes, especially with little ones. I 100% agree that the four day is the way to go, for sure.

C -

Absolutely.


J -

What do you do on that fifth day? Is that just your wild and free group or groceries? Or... yeah.


C -

I will do the...we'll do the hymn study on our, for, like, our morning thing. We...cause...like, your five day for the beauty loop stuff for five days. So we do our hymn day over...hymn on the Friday, and then, yeah, it's our wild and free group is usually at ten, but since it's cold, we do 'em at one. But lately, with COVID and stuff, we haven't been meeting, so it's just kind of our, you know, free for all the kids just play and they literally are, like, naked and it's called...Mom, can we take off our clothes? Yes, you can. Keep your panties on. Okay, we're gonna be wild children. Okay. But that's what they do.

J -

That's awesome.

C -

But for the four days, how we actually execute lessons, I will put my older child...so I'll be doing formal lessons with my oldest and then my kinder, he's my son, I will put him in charge of the younger ones in a nearby room. Our house is really small, so I can hear everything that goes on. They like to make the pack and play into a little nest. And the three of them, well, they'll just play in that for a really long time. Sometimes giving them little occupations and little jobs to do. Spray bottle of water in a cloth, or go check for eggs. Or, you know, the Peaceful Press has some really awesome chore cards that you can kind of pass out with pictures and words that they can, you know, understand what to do. They love to feel that they are a valuable part of the family and that they can contribute in little ways. And so you know, we'll do that. I will designate messy stations, for a very short while. So, like, rice trays or salt trays, Montessori things. I'll put on music, their music class CDs and they play silks in the living room. And you know, once again, that's just where the habit of organization and tidiness comes in handy. Need to know where these things are, so that we can, you know, grab him and go.

But once they are occupied, once they're happy, then that's when I will work alongside my older child. But it's not like that's just, you know, okay, done. You're absolutely still bouncing and refereeing, and just bouncing in between both. But, you know, feeling...getting those two things kind of to a good spot is how we do it. And then we will designate school time from, like, nine to noon, including little breaks. So before that is, you know, chicken duties, litter box, breakfast, self-care. Really slow morning. They get to play. I relax, have my coffee, chat with my husband, etc.

But that nine to noon window is when I really try to, you know, that's when the juggling act is the greatest and we really try to fit in the things we need to fit in. The pressure is more on me. I don't really feel like they sense that pressure because they can, you know, they will they really sense how we're feeling and so.

But that's my window. And then once it's done, that's the hardest part. The hardest part is over. I will do, like, phonics and preschool. You know, I'll leave that in, only if the child is showing readiness or interest. Otherwise, it's just imaginative creative play. But for gentle learning with the little ones, you know, set an invitation of learning at the nearby table, and just kind of bounce between both. So, our den is their dining room and our schoolroom, so my daughter will be in the school area and then the dining room is kind of where I'll have a gentle learning for the others. Or it's just play and Magna tiles and, you know, kinetic sand and all that sort of thing.

Yeah, and if that's not working, and sometimes it won't, my other three, they're in another room and they're just playing. And big brother, he's just quote-unquote, in charge, you know, and he feels very important with that. This, that's just what's worked so far, and if I can't fit in a reading or math lesson for my second, I, you know, in that window from nine to noon, then I'll save it for the afternoon. It doesn't take long. Then we get quality 101 time. So that's what we do.


J -

Do your little ones ever sit in on some of, like, the morning time thing? Reading time?


C -

Yes. Yep.


J -

Okay.

C -

Yeah, they do for morning time. After morning time, sometimes. Sometimes they just don't want to. Myself...

J -

Right, yeah.


C -

...included, but for after, afterwards they just go off and play. And then, you know, babies, they are the wildcards.


J -

Yeah.


C -

Sometimes, on my hip. Sometimes she's playing with the older ones. I'll put her in the high chair and give her some food. She's playing with dried pasta on the tabletop. And often, I am just hunched over nursing while reading, you know, the Natural History book or whatever it is. She just wants to be with me and nurse, and that is fine. There's just no easy solution for babies. Mine's often with me, playing with my feet, playing at my feet. Nursing, you know? I mean, I really have had great success with allowing my kinder age son to play with her and be in charge. You know, ??? anything. So I can have some uninterrupted time with the oldest. Then we do, lunch is at noon and mandatory quiet time, which I think you called it room time, which you guys still do, is at one. And then that's it. Afternoons are more, you know, leisurely, where we're not, I am not holding everything altogether quite so much. And so we have our scheduled dessert items, nature study, poetry, painting, brushwork, that sort of thing. And then you're weaving in housework. And yeah, that's how we've done it so far.


J -

And is that something, like, they can just kind of come and go in the afternoon?

C -

Yeah.


J -

...kind of thing? Yeah, that's cool.


C -

Yeah, both my daughters gonna do some brush or brushwork lesson or something. Yeah then the other kids just might want to paint, you know, so they'll pull out their...nature study is not like a, okay, sit down. We're going to nature study. Like, oh, you know, invitation. Let's go out and look at this or look at this book and, you know, it's, it should be fun. Not like this chore. This burden.

J -

Yes. I love that. Yeah, and it just, I'm sure, helps you relax in the afternoons too. Like you said, like, you put in a good solid three hours. It sometimes feels like a million, or that you've ran a marathon, or something, right? Like, so, you need that too. And it is in that kind of masterly inactivity time that your kids are able to kind of process all the ideas that have been fed into them all day. So they need that too.

C -

Yeah, exactly.

J -

So cool. Okay, so can you just review all of those letters one more time for everybody?


C -

Yeah. So we have stick, S is for stick to those habits. Habits of heart, hand, and home. So we have the habit of obedience and peacemaking. And then we have the habit of a rhythm, the daily rhythm. And a habit of tidiness.

E is enjoy. So mother culture. You know, give yourself the things that you need to keep doing this work. R is relationship. That always comes first. Connection over correction. V is vulnerability. So you have to find your friends, find your tribe. You know, find those people that you can ask for help in connection with. And then E is just the execution of lessons. And that will be everyone's own personal, you know, way of doing that.

J -

Yeah. But I think we still can sometimes, with that execution of lessons, you know, people get, like, oh my gosh, I have to have, like, all these different centers for my different age children and they have the rotate and I have to constantly be entertaining them and you know. And it's like no, no, no, no, no, no. Like, that's a lot of work right? And it kind of takes the place of this whole idea of self-education, right? So you want to start that young. And yeah, I love what you, kind of those tips you had for getting that. So it's not like we're doing this. You go off and do this. But we're doing some of these things together and some of these things on your own and just kind of finding that rhythm, yeah.



C -

Yeah. And, I think, you know, that is one of the things...I wish somebody would have told me for starting out is just, like, deschooling yourself. You know, like, unlearning what you thought education was. Like, I went into homeschooling thinking that it's just school at home, you know? But it's absolutely not. It is not just the red brick building school at home. It...so, like, really doing the work early on of unlearning what we thought education is, and just diving into Mason's own words and redefining, relearning education, is, like, so important. I mean, I remember feeling very self-conscious of, like, the school kids, the neighbor kids, walking home from school at like three or four o'clock in the day, and I'll see them. And gosh, my kids have been, like, naked half the day. And we haven't done enough learning, like, oh my gosh, you know, I panic and I feel tempted to, like, sit down. You need to have this worksheet.

J -

Yes. Let's learn some Latin. Come on.

C -

Yeah. Right. It's like, you have to do the work of deschooling yourself, and, like, unlearning those things and then put on the blinders. You know, just blinders up. You know what you're doing. You know, you have the community and the support to do this. And I think Ainsley's book is really good for the kind of unlearning of old ways. Of, you know, the system that we kind of opted out of.

So.


J -

What's the name of that one again?


C -

Just the call of the wild in free.

J -

Yeah, we should put that in the show notes too. Yeah, yeah. Right. Yeah, I think that's such great advice. Yeah, I totally wish someone would have said that to me as well. That would have saved me a lot of money with buying a whole bunch of stuff that we never actually used. And a whole bunch of me wanting to pull up my hair, cause we're all incredibly frustrated all the time.


C -

Right, right. Yeah, they are...

J -

And that, you know, there's, you know, Charlotte Mason talks about, that, you know, her first volume is Home Education, that the concept of the best place for children to learn is at the home and that it's not this contrived environment. That it's this natural outflowing of your life.

C -

Right.

J -

And the atmosphere of your home. And so you don't need to stress about creating this whole system of what we're going to do. And especially with little ones, you know. They naturally...which is actually...makes your life easier. Just FYI. Give some people some encouragement. The younger ones, it becomes easier because they're used to it. Like this is just what we do. This is the flow, you know?

C -

Yes, yes, exactly.

J -

They pick up on that. So yeah, that's great advice. So do you have any closing thoughts for us?


C -

I am always really encouraged by this quote by Sarah Mackenzie, and she says, I'm pretty sure it's her that says it. I may just be reading her book and then, like, summarizing.

J -

Yeah. Right.


C -

But I'm pretty sure. So, she says, do one thing at a time, but do it with all your heart, just to please Him. And so I think when you have little kids, there is just so much, you know? So many ways your attention can get pulled, and it's just helpful for me to be, like, okay, let's just take the day little by little. One thing at a time. Then do that one thing with all your heart and remember Who you're doing it for. Remember Who you're trying to please. You know, you're not trying to please your neighbor, your mother-in-law, Instagram. You are doing it for the Lord. So that's what I hope moms are encouraged by.

J -

Yeah, that's great. That's a great way to put your focus because it can be so overwhelming. And, you know, like you said, with social media, there's that temptation that we need to be doing all the things and that everyone else's life is perfect, and they're able to do all of these things and look at this beautiful whatever that their kids just made. And like, you know, the baby just threw up on me and the toddler's screaming and, you know, we haven't done anything today. That comparison can just, yeah, kill you, so, yeah. I like the idea of just focusing, you know, one time, but then also, you know, remembering ultimately who we're doing this for, is so key.


So thank you so much for taking the time to walk through this. I love this. This is just super concrete and helpful and I know this will mean a lot to a lot of moms who are kind of in the trenches with the little ones. So thank you.

And, how can people connect with you on social media?


C -

So, you can find me at Give Them Beauty. I also have a blog, but I don't post there too often, but that's it. Givethembeauty.com.

J -

On Instagram, not...

C -

Instagram, but there's also a blog that you can look up on the web.

J -

Okay. Okay, okay. Yeah, alright, well thanks so much. I really appreciate it.

C -

Yes, thank you for having me, Julie.



J -

Thank you for joining us today on the Charlotte Mason Show. I'm your host, Julie Ross, and I would love to meet you in person. All of the Great Homeschool Conventions have been rescheduled to 2021. Go to greathomeschoolconventions.com to find a convention near you.


But you don't have to wait until 2021 to experience the amazing speakers and vendors at the Great Homeschool Conventions. They now offer an online convention that you can find on greathomeschoolconventions.com.

Also, if you would like the show notes for today's episode, go to homeschooling.mom. If you take a moment to subscribe to this podcast in iTunes and leave a review, I would greatly appreciate it. It helps get the word out about this podcast to our audience. Thanks for joining me today.


Until next time, may your home be filled with books, beauty, and Biblical truth.

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